You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
