Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
