I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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