My nipple is on Facebook.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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