i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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