just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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