Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I need moral support for this bender
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
