the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
