We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
