omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We don't watch enough power rangers
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
