they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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