She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
