So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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