you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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