Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
