i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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