Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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