Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize