I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
