My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
operation harelip BJ is a go
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
