hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
