Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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