we have pet lesbian snakes
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
