woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
