you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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