My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
