I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
