Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
