I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
