Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Found your dick twin last night
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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