I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize