I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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