She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
