do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
