I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
