I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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