Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
