she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
