he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
