i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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