Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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