i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
