20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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