i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize