My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
