rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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