i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
