I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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