She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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