Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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