OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just threw up on my dentist
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize