when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
