So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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