he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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