Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.

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(407): View more from Florida

You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.

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(786): View more from Florida

I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

whose oscar?

(203): View more from Connecticut

the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.

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(303): View more from Colorado

No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?

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(540): View more from Virginia

i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.

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(541): View more from Oregon

i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime

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(618): View more from Illinois

You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.

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