uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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