I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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