That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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